When you think about it, there are really only two outcomes to a relationship: Either it will last, or it won’t. But the signs that a relationship is over aren’t always clear-cut, which makes things confusing and difficult to figure out – especially if you find yourself in an unexpected situation where the relationship actually did end before you thought it would. If you need to know the signs that the relationship is over, this guide can help.
1) What you know
This can be difficult to determine if you’re still in a relationship. However, there are some signs that should give you pause. For example, if you frequently find yourself trying to justify his behavior, chances are he doesn’t have your best interests at heart. The same applies to trust issues — they’re a problem if they interfere with your ability to have honest and open conversations. If communication has stopped altogether or your partner seems distant or distracted, these could also indicate that it’s time to break up and move on — even if he hasn’t said anything specifically about ending things between you. One more clue that your relationship might be over: You don’t want it to end.
2) What he knows
After a breakup, you want to know why it happened and what went wrong. Often, when we’re hurting, we start doubting our memories or view of what happened during a relationship, but there are some things your ex-boyfriend will never forget — no matter how much time passes. If he says any of these things after you break up with him, it’s probably safe to say that he knows your relationship is over: 1. I knew I shouldn’t have… This one can work in two ways. Your ex might be saying that if he hadn’t done something—perhaps acted jealously, got into an argument, or didn’t listen—your relationship wouldn’t have ended. In other words, it was his fault. Or he could just be saying that because of what happened — whether it was good or bad—it was clear things were headed toward an end. In both cases, even if your breakup doesn’t seem like his fault right now (or ever), don’t buy into thinking you should get back together so you can make sure nothing else happens between now and forever to make him regret losing you again.
3) He doesn’t open up to you
If a guy can’t be honest with you, then he doesn’t have room in his life for you. A great way to see if a guy’s feelings for you are genuine is to simply ask him how he feels about you and listen carefully to his response. Are his answers heartfelt? Or does he skirt around your questions with generalities? As long as there’s a real feeling behind what he says, then your relationship will grow stronger. If not, it might be time to give it up and move on.
4) You have different values
This may sound like a cliché, but it’s 100% true: if you and your partner have different values, then you don’t have a relationship — you have a bad living situation. If you are always arguing about religion, politics, or anything else that’s important to either of you… it’s going to cause problems. This doesn’t mean that if your values are similar (or close enough) then everything will be fine – they still won’t. You need to share common interests as well. If you don’t enjoy spending time with each other, why waste your time? It’s hard to trust someone who doesn’t feel right being around them — and ultimately it will doom any relationship.
5) He disappears
Have you ever been in a relationship where you couldn’t get your partner to commit? This might be because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. You see, as much as some guys might complain about being bored with their relationships, most men would do anything for someone who shows them that they are loved and appreciated on a regular basis. And if your man disappears or pulls away, there’s a good chance that he doesn’t think you appreciate him enough. Guys don’t disappear into thin air; they go somewhere where they can feel wanted and appreciated—with someone else.
6) There are secrets he won’t share with you
When you’re in a relationship, you and your partner should be able to share anything. If he can’t tell you something important that happened at work or at home, that’s a huge sign it might be time to end things. On top of being secretive, there are probably other warning signs he doesn’t see what your relationship has going for it. If he won’t talk about a future with you then perhaps there isn’t one. Open communication is essential to having a healthy long-term relationship, so if it feels like you can’t really talk to him anymore, then maybe your connection isn’t as strong as it once was.
7) Your arguments are always about the same thing
If you’re fighting over money, what you do in your free time, how to raise your kids, or even where to vacation (or at least used to), it’s probably time to put an end to your relationship. When you argue about everything, nothing feels big enough for a breakup. Instead of battling about who takes out the trash and why he forgot your birthday (again), acknowledge that there are bigger things going on with him and look for those signs that it’s over for him. His happiness is no longer important: When he first started dating you, every move he made was about making sure you were happy — but now that doesn’t seem to be as much of a priority anymore.
8) He spends more time with his friends than you do with yours
If he’s staying out late with his buddies, that’s one thing. If he wants to spend every second of his free time with them—and not you—that’s another. Guys need their friends just as much as they need a girlfriend (some even say more), but if your guy can’t be bothered to hang out with you and only sees you as an option for when his buds aren’t around, it might be time to move on. The friend zone is one place from which it would be pretty difficult to break back into boyfriend-girlfriend status.
The relationship has officially been over for some time, if one person isn’t pursuing it then, to me, that means it’s over. When I was with someone who wouldn’t be moving in together and wasn’t excited about marriage I knew he wouldn’t propose. If he wasn’t considering making a commitment then I certainly didn’t need to waste my time waiting around hoping he would. Once a relationship has reached that point where neither person is wanting more out of it than they aren’t you may as well just part ways. It takes two people who both want to make things work for things to work so if you find yourself alone on that front then there isn’t anything left for you to do but move on.